44% of single Americans feel net worth impacts their love life. 3 most attractive financial traits to lock down a date

Nearly half of single Americans believe their net worth affects their dating prospects, a perception that may quietly shape who they date, how often they go out and how much they spend trying to impress.

According to a new BMO survey, 44% of single Americans say their net worth influences their ability to date. At the same time, dating itself has become expensive. The average American adult spends $2,279 a year on dates, while the all-in cost of a single outing, including grooming, transportation and activities, runs about $168 (1).

That combination can be intimidating. When dating feels costly, and people assume they need a certain income or bank balance to be “dateable,” some pull back altogether. In fact, 44% of single Americans say they’ve adjusted a date for financial reasons, and more than one in four have cancelled dates entirely due to money pressure.

The same survey reveals something that challenges the net-worth anxiety many singles feel. Raw wealth isn’t what most people find financially attractive in a partner.

Instead, Americans overwhelmingly point to a different set of money behaviours, traits that don’t require a high income or a six-figure savings account.

BMO’s Real Financial Progress Index shows how money and romance are increasingly intertwined. Americans say it takes a median of 10 dates to commit to a relationship, meaning it’s a journey that can cost singles nearly $1,678 before things turn serious.

That pressure is especially common among younger daters. Gen Z reports the highest spending per date, averaging $194 per night out, and nearly half say they feel pressure to plan expensive dates even though many are early in their careers. Millennials aren’t far behind, while Gen X and Baby Boomers spend less.

The result is that many singles feel caught between wanting to show effort and needing to protect their financial stability.

“It’s clear that dating or being in a relationship today comes with pressure to spend, which can affect how well people can stay on track for their goals,” said Paul Dilda, head of U.S. consumer strategy at BMO.

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The survey found that Americans are aligned on what makes someone financially attractive, and it has little to do with luxury or income level.

Here are the three most attractive financial traits, according to people who are dating or seeking a relationship:

Financial responsibility doesn’t mean being debt-free or wealthy. It means paying bills on time, living within your means and avoiding constant financial chaos. For many daters, reliability matters more than abundance.

Nearly everyone says transparency is a green flag, yet fewer practice it consistently. Only 55% of couples say they share equal responsibility for financial planning, and one in four Americans admit they sometimes omit information that makes them look bad when talking about money.

Honesty, the data suggests, builds trust far faster than flashy spending.

A plan signals intention. Whether it’s saving slowly, paying down debt methodically or working toward long-term goals, having direction matters more than having a perfect balance sheet.

Traits often assumed to be must-haves, such as owning a home or earning a high salary, have ranked significantly lower.

The survey also shows that financial honesty correlates with better relationships. Only 29% of Americans who say they’re very honest about money fight about it frequently, compared with 54% of those who aren’t. Honest couples also report spending more quality time together.

In other words, money transparency may do more for your love life than an expensive dinner ever could.

You don’t need a high net worth to be financially attractive. What matters most are behaviours: being responsible, communicating openly, and having a plan.

In a dating landscape where costs are rising and pressure is real, those traits can help singles date with confidence instead of stress. And they don’t just support healthier relationships, they support long-term financial stability, too.

That may be the most attractive trait of all.

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BMO Survey (1).

This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.