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A 28-year-old shared on Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole” forum that her father asked her to return $15,000 he had gifted for a down payment on a home. She explained that the money was already tied to closing costs and deposits.
Her father, 58, wanted the funds redirected to his girlfriend’s son, who was facing legal trouble. The request has split her extended family over whether the money should be returned.
The woman said her father initially gave her the money in February, presenting it as a no-strings-attached gift. He told her he wanted to see her and her fiancé, 30, settle into their first home while he was “still around.”
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By April, the couple had found a house, their offer was accepted, and both her savings and his $15,000 were placed into a joint account for the mortgage process.
Plans shifted when, last month, her father asked for the money back. He explained that his girlfriend’s son needed help with legal expenses and told her that “family comes first.” The woman responded that the money was already locked into the purchase and said returning it would cause them to lose the property along with thousands of dollars in fees.
When she refused, her father accused her of “choosing a house over family.” He added that he only gave the gift under the belief she would be willing to return it if “something came up.” His demand soon grew into a wider family dispute.
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Some relatives called her selfish, while others insisted that a gift should remain with the recipient once given.
Her fiancé urged her to stand firm, saying they had worked too hard to let the opportunity slip away. Still, she worried the argument could cause permanent damage to her relationship with her father.
Discussion in the Reddit thread quickly broadened beyond her situation. Several commenters argued that her father had no right to reclaim the money, saying gifts are final unless clearly framed as loans. Others disagreed, pointing to the idea that family obligations can override personal goals.