This Is ‘A Breach Of Trust,’ Dave Ramsey Tells 23-Year-Old After He Finds Wife Hid $70K Debt Just 3 Months Into Marriage

Gabriel from Atlanta told “The Ramsey Show” he had just learned his wife was carrying about $70,000 in debt three months after they got married.

He said the balances were tied to her previous marriage and were never fully disclosed before the wedding; this left him overwhelmed and unsure how to respond. Personal finance expert Dave Ramsey listened as Gabriel described the situation and replied that it represented “a breach of trust.” 

He added that secrecy around money can damage a marriage faster than the debt itself.

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The Debt Breakdown That Sparked Panic

Gabriel said the largest balance was a $50,000 car repossession tied to his wife’s previous marriage, a $12,000 car loan for a vehicle she was still driving, about $6,000 in medical bills that had gone to collections, and roughly $2,000 in credit card debt.

He explained that he knew about the $12,000 car loan but was unaware of most of the remaining debt until recently. Gabriel works as a banker earning about $23 an hour, while his wife is a receptionist earning a similar wage. Their combined income, he said, totals around $80,000 a year.

Why Ramsey Focused On Trust First

After hearing the details, Ramsey shifted away from numbers and toward the marriage itself. He told Gabriel the situation fit what many counselors describe as financial infidelity, where one spouse hides or lies about money.

Ramsey said that some marriage counselors say financial deception can be as damaging as sexual infidelity, creating doubt about what else may be hidden.

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Gabriel said his wife had been in an abusive prior relationship and felt ashamed of discussing the debt. Ramsey said shame may explain the secrecy, but it does not remove the damage caused by it.

Counseling Before Cleanup

Ramsey advised the couple to seek marriage counseling immediately through their church. He said the emotional breach needed to be addressed before any repayment plan could work. He added that bankruptcy was unnecessary and that the debt was manageable.

He then outlined next steps, telling Gabriel that medical bills and collections can often be negotiated, sometimes for 10% to 15% of the balance, if handled carefully and documented in writing.

Money problems can be fixed, Ramsey said, but trust has to come first — especially so early in a marriage.

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