A repayment promise turned into a dispute after a woman said her boyfriend denied ever agreeing that groceries and shared bills would count toward a $12,000 debt. Writing on Reddit’s r/AITAH, she said he told her, “It counted,” and over two years paid him back through food and monthly expenses — only for him to later insist that “none of that counts.”
She wrote that the conflict escalated after Thanksgiving, when he canceled her discounted car-insurance coverage during a new argument about the same debt.
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According to the original poster, she fell behind on rent during COVID and her boyfriend covered the $12,000 she owed. He had offered to cover groceries because he earned far more, but after he told her that paying for groceries would count toward the debt, she took over that expense.
She wrote that he never corrected the agreement and watched her follow it while she covered most of their shared costs.
What She Believed Counted
The OP wrote she covered between 80% and 90% of their groceries, averaging about $800 each month. She also paid for a monthly activity they did together, which cost between $400 and $800.
Based on her calculations, her contributions totaled between $28,800 and $38,400 over two years. She wrote that she managed those expenses while believing she was following the repayment method he approved.
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How The Dispute Affected Their Relationship
According to the OP, he refused to celebrate holidays and birthdays with her, saying she still owed him money. She added that conversations about repayment often led to conflict, which made her avoid raising the topic.
“I had faith it would level out and we’d find ways to make things a bit more balanced,” the OP wrote. “Or as assumed, I’m a complete idiot.”
Reactions From The Comment Thread
A lot of comments responded to OP’s situation, with many focusing on how the repayment was handled and whether she had records of what she paid. “Not the a** hole – back date and invoice him for his share of the groceries and dates. Tell him since there was a misunderstanding, he needs to pay his share in cash,” one Redditor wrote.
“She should look for her receipts, or card statements, but I don’t think OP is that financially savvy. She should have known when she got close to the amount owed by mental tabulation,” another commenter wrote.
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Image: Shutterstock
