When Grant from Houston called into “The Ramsey Show,” he wasn’t looking to stir up family drama. But the story he shared had all the makings of a long-brewing family crisis — one that financial expert Dave Ramsey and John Delony weren’t about to sugarcoat.
For decades, Grant’s older brother — now 59 — has leaned on their parents for financial support. Loans, bailouts, bad decisions. And now, with their parents in their 80s, things have escalated again.
“They have just recently made me and my brother power of attorney,” Grant said.
Ramsey didn’t hesitate: “Well, that’s useless.”
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Twenty Years of Enabling
It wasn’t just a one-time loan or an occasional favor. As Grant explained, his brother has a long track record of asking for help — and getting it. Two loans on his own house. And now, he’s persuaded their elderly father to take out a home equity loan on their house.
Ramsey told Grant his parents didn’t have the money to do this if they were taking out loans. “They do,” Grant said, “But my dad did not want to sell appreciated stocks in an investment account. So he thought it was easier to take out some equity as opposed to realize a capital gain.”
That didn’t sit right with Ramsey and Delony.
“Any guy that asks his 80-year-old father to put his house on the block because he’s two HELOCs under his own house is just a person who’s a mooch,” Delony said. He recommended Grant have a serious conversation with his parents about the situation to let them know how he’s feeling about all this, even if the conversation doesn’t go how Grant would like.
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A Role With No Power
When Grant mentioned the power of attorney arrangement, Ramsey was blunt. “I probably tell him, ‘If he’s on it. I’m not,'” he said. “This is setting up World War III.”
The problem, according to both hosts, is that the parents are trying to avoid conflict by treating both sons equally on paper — even when one clearly has a history of poor financial choices. And while that might seem fair, it’s actually a recipe for long-term chaos, especially after the parents pass away.
“They’re wanting you to tell him no because they’ve never had the backbone to,” Ramsey said. “Your dad’s a wimp.”
What Grant Should Do Next
Rather than confronting his brother, Ramsey urged Grant to take a different path.
“Go talk to your dad,” he said. “Say, ‘Listen, I’m not okay with this guy mooching off y’all…And I don’t want to be power of attorney with him.'”
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Delony added that Grant doesn’t have to be part of the dysfunction to be helpful. He said to tell them, “‘I want to take care of you in your old age. But I can’t manage you…and my older brother, who still can’t be on his own two feet.”
The Bigger Picture
Grant’s call resonated because it touched on something so many people face: aging parents, unequal siblings, and the fallout when tough conversations are postponed for too long.
The message from Ramsey and Delony was clear — clarity now can prevent crisis later. And in families, silence can be far more expensive than speaking up.
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