A 23-year-old caller on a recent episode of “The Ramsey Show” had a tough question: How do you get on the same page financially with your girlfriend?
She has a steady job and brings in her own income, but he was covering rent, groceries and other essentials. On top of that, he had given her a card linked to his account for expenses. But lately, those expenses had started piling up.
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Big Charges, Bigger Red Flags
“At the end of this past month there was $1,900 in between Target and shopping,” the caller said. He clarified that the purchases weren’t luxury splurges like designer bags, but home decor and similar household items. Still, the total was putting pressure on his finances. When he tried to talk to her about it, it always ended in a fight.
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Dave Ramsey went straight to the point.
“You’re the kind of guy that normally would have just said, ‘Wait a minute, just give me the card back. This doesn’t work.’ Why haven’t you done that?” Ramsey asked.
Co-host Rachel Cruze agreed. The core problem, they said, is the couple is acting like they’re married when they’re not.
“You gave your roommate a credit card and your roommate has a spending problem,” Ramsey said.
Not Marriage Material Yet
The caller said he sees marriage potential in his girlfriend and has been trying to overlook the financial tension. But Ramsey and Cruze warned that ignoring these issues can result in bigger problems down the line.
“Money is always in that top three” when it comes to reasons for divorce, Cruze said and pushed back, emphasizing that brushing off the issue was risky and pointing out that this kind of financial conflict is a major red flag when it comes to long-term compatibility.
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Both advised the caller to stop sharing money and start fresh. “Give me my card back,” Ramsey suggested he say to his girlfriend. “We’re going to separate our money again because this is complicating our relationship; it’s not helping it. We’ve got to separate the stuff so that we can come back to sanity and start a fresh discussion like two grown-ups.”
He also recommended ending the shared household arrangement unless the couple has serious plans to get married.
Ramsey pointed to research showing that married couples are healthier, wealthier and more stable than couples who live together without being married.
“The wealth is 15 times higher for a married 35-year-old couple than a single female,” he said. “Married men live six to nine years longer than unmarried men… and make 26% higher incomes at 37.”
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