A millennial woman on Reddit recently asked a simple question: “Be honest — how many of you still get help from your parents/family?”
Her husband is firmly against it, insisting they don’t accept any financial support from relatives. But she’s surrounded by friends who’ve gotten major help with everything from student loan payments to free cars and child care.
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Millennials Sound Off
The post sparked a flood of deeply personal replies. While a few agreed with her husband’s stance, the overwhelming theme was that help from family is either a lifesaver or a painful, complicated mess.
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“Quite the opposite. I have supported them,” one person wrote, summarizing what many others echoed. A number of millennials said they’ve taken on financial responsibility for their parents or other relatives, sometimes at great personal cost.
One commenter said, “I’ve ended up drowning in debt because of my parents. And then they’ll get mad when I can’t help them because I’m -40 bucks in my bank account.”
No Help At All, Or Strings Attached
Many said they receive no support at all. Some parents couldn’t afford to help. Others used money as a weapon. “My mom thinks financial help = control,” one wrote.
“My parents would LOVE for me to come ask them for money,” someone added. “They would have so much fun forcing me to grovel, pulling up my bank account and shaming me for buying a coffee, making me write out a business plan with detailed payback dates etc. I’d rather live in my car.”
A common thread was the trauma of growing up with financially comfortable parents who made them feel like a burden. One person said, “Not a day went by in my childhood where my parents didn’t complain about how much money I cost them.”
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For Others, Help Is Freely Given
On the flip side, many users shared heartwarming stories of parents or in-laws who offer help without expectations.
“My mom picks my kid up off the bus three afternoons a week and it saves me $70 a week. I’m very grateful,” one wrote. Another said, “My dad will take my car and fill it up with gas [when we visit]. We’re geriatric millennials. It’s quite funny.”
One commenter explained that their in-laws help with school expenses and even make dinner when they visit. “It’s very nice. I should really tell them more how nice it is.”
Several said their parents want to help now, while they’re alive, instead of leaving an inheritance later. One person reflected: “They want to see my sibling and I enjoying our lives, not just leave us money when they die.”
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Childcare Is A Game-Changer
Free or subsidized childcare came up repeatedly. As one person said, “Parents of young children have no idea how much they’re living life on easy mode when they have their own parents around to step in as babysitters.”
One person said they bought a house next to their in-laws in hopes of getting help once kids arrived. Others said grandparents caring for kids helped them survive illness, cancer recovery, or high daycare costs.
But others noted that even retired grandparents can be completely uninvolved. “None of my kids’ grandparents work, and none of them offer to help with my kids, and I mean never.”
Millennials aren’t all in the same boat. Some are getting a financial cushion from their families, while others are giving everything they have just to keep their families afloat. For many, any help, whether it’s money, time, or kindness, can mean the difference between drowning and staying above water.
If that help is healthy and freely given, more than a few people say: take it.
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