A newlywed called into “The Ramsey Show” with a big concern: her husband is financially reckless, and it’s already putting serious strain on their young marriage.
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Short Marriage, Big Red Flags
The woman, 41, said she and her 52-year-old husband tied the knot just four or five months ago after dating for only a short time. Since then, she’s been blindsided by his financial habits.
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“He’s behind on his child support because the job that he had was a contract job,” she said. “When he gets paid, he wants to go get his hair done or for me to get my hair done, and I’m like, okay, we need to sacrifice.”
To make matters worse, her husband is driving a car that’s in his mother’s name and is currently at risk of repossession. “He tries to keep it hidden so it doesn’t get repossessed,” she added.
When she brings up these issues, the conversations often turn sour. “He gets angry about it,” she said, recalling a recent argument over buying a work shirt at Walmart. “He’s like, ‘Why do you guys always argue with me? Why do you guys got to make a scene?’ And I’m like, I wasn’t making a scene.”
Personal finance personality Dave Ramsey didn’t sugarcoat it. “You don’t have a money problem, darling. You got a husband problem,” he told her. “When you’re arguing in Walmart over a shirt, we know the marriage is in trouble.”
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‘There Can Be No Money Secrets’
The call echoed advice Ramsey has long preached: full financial transparency is critical in a relationship. In last year’s social media post, he wrote, “There can be no money secrets from someone you are serious enough about to marry. You cannot have healthy relationships and build wealth with lies as the foundation.”
Ramsey, who went bankrupt in the 1980s before rebuilding his life and business, often speaks about how he and his wife had to work through financial strain with total honesty. “Do not marry someone without all accounts being laid bare for both of you to see and know what you’re getting,” he advises.
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Can This Marriage Be Saved?
Co-host Jade Warshaw told the caller that conversations about money should happen outside the heat of the moment. “Not having the conversation in the moment that the bad behavior is taking place, but setting aside a time…You just say, ‘Hey, let’s go get breakfast,’ and then you say, ‘Here’s some of the things I’ve been thinking about.’”
Ultimately, Ramsey encouraged the woman to work on building a shared long-term vision. “The only way you’re going to fix that is for the two of you to get above that and have a long-term thing that you’re willing to build together towards.”
If that doesn’t happen, he said, “Then you probably need to sit down with a good marriage counselor.”
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