Picture this: you’re at a party, surrounded by people. It’s unsettling — you’re bored, unsure what to do, and you don’t quite feel like you belong. But then, you spot a close friend, and relief sets in. You start talking — a deep conversation that goes off in all directions — and you’re having more fun at this party than you thought you would. It’s almost as though the rest of the room has disappeared. Relatable?
We often talk about introverts and extroverts — people who either lose energy in social settings or gain it. Then there are ambiverts, who sit somewhere in the middle. But of late, a new “personality style” has entered the conversation: the otrovert. Otroverts may not feel comfortable in large groups, yet they thrive in deep, one-on-one connections.
The term was coined by American psychiatrist and author of The Gift of Not Belonging Rami Kaminski, who considers himself an otrovert. Having studied this personality style for about three decades, Dr. Kaminski explains that unlike an extrovert (who faces outward) or an introvert (who faces inward), an otrovert — from otro, meaning “other” in Spanish — doesn’t face the same direction as the rest of the group.
Who is an otrovert?
According to Dr. Kaminski, what is central to an otrovert is the idea of “non-belonging.” Otroverts don’t really fit into any social group, no matter who is part of it. They may feel alone and uncomfortable in groups, but at the same time, they are in their element when it is a one-on-one interaction.
Often wallflowers in larger social settings, they prefer solitude or the company of a small group. But this is not to say otroverts want to be alone, unlike introverts. They derive energy from deep and meaningful connections. They aren’t asocial; they simply enjoy intentional, focused interactions, according to Dr. Kaminski.
In most cases, he says, in his writings, otroverts aren’t socially anxious; in fact, many are well-liked and even popular. It is just that they don’t conform to a group’s norms. As a result, they don’t seek approval from the group, which makes them emotionally self-reliant and “fiercely independent.”
This lack of a “communal impulse”, or the instinct to join or belong to a group, is something Dr. Kaminski says he has observed across cultures, ethnicities, and genders.
What sets otroverts apart
Otroverts differ from extroverts in many ways: while they may be well-liked and even popular, otroverts don’t gain energy from being in groups. At the same time, unlike introverts, they are not conserving energy either.
Because of their disinterest in large social settings, many otroverts go through life assuming they are introverts, but that is not quite accurate. According to Dr. Kaminski, introverts typically hold back from speaking up or asserting themselves, whereas otroverts are often confident and outspoken. Moreover, introverts may feel drained even after talking to a close friend, while otroverts actually find such conversations energising and fulfilling.
Like introverts, otroverts also enjoy solitude, but not because socialising exhausts them. Instead, it’s a way to avoid the loneliness they often feel in a crowd.
Ambiverts vs otroverts
So, where do ambiverts fit in, and how are they different from otroverts?
Ambiverts typically exhibit traits of both introverts and extroverts, oscillating between the two depending on the context. They’re adaptable: sometimes they enjoy social interactions, and other times they prefer solitude. Otroverts, on the other hand, aren’t defined by this kind of flexibility. It’s not about adjusting to the situation, it’s about preferring a certain kind of interaction, consistently. Meaningful conversations with one person or a small group of people are their comfort zone.
What this means
Introverts, extroverts, ambiverts — these are labels that are casually used in everyday conversations. While these labels can be limiting, the emergence of a new one, the otrovert, is a reminder of just how diverse and complex people really are.
An otrovert’s tendency to stray from the group often makes them independent thinkers, capable of bringing fresh perspectives to problems. Since they don’t define themselves in relation to a group, their achievements are also deeply personal. And in many cases, that sense of autonomy may lead to a greater sense of fulfillment.
In the age of social media, where disconnectedness is very real, ideas of community and offline socialising gain immense importance — and rightly so. While otroverts may not fit neatly into this mould, Dr. Kaminski explains in his writings that they don’t reject connection. Instead, they see individuals within the group, giving each interaction deeper meaning.
Published – September 25, 2025 03:30 pm IST