Financial advice host Caleb Hammer is known for blunt assessments, but a recent episode featuring a 29-year-old unemployed Houston man pushed him to his breaking point.
The guest, Jason, racked up more than $60,700 in debt while routinely asking his 73-year-old grandmother for money, including funds that financed a $1,300 trip to Chicago to see Lady Gaga.
“You are one of the worst people who has sat in that seat in a long time,” Hammer said. “You are disgusting. Manipulating your grandma for money to pay your bills. Then you don’t pay your bills, and then you go to Chicago (1).”
After getting fired from his $21-per-hour job for tardiness, Jason moved back in with his parents, his third housing arrangement in as many months. With $15.64 in combined accounts and owing his grandmother $23,000, he represents an extreme case of financial dependency gone wrong.
Yet he repeatedly justified his actions, stating, “I know she has money … If I don’t have it, I can ask for it. (1)”
But Jason isn’t alone in this. According to Savings.com data, 50% of parents with adult children now provide regular financial assistance, averaging $1,474 a month or nearly $18,000 a year.
What’s more, working parents contribute 2.3 times more to their kids than to their own retirement funds, which puts their long-term financial security at risk (2).
Jason has been unemployed since September and admitted he’s barely looking for work. He isn’t tailoring his resume to the roles he applies for and spent $600 on bartending classes he never finished. He has no experience to show for it.
He also has no plans to stand on his own two feet. He has no savings, no retirement fund and no career path. At this rate, his instability could get worse as his grandmother ages.
For her, supporting Jason’s lifestyle carries serious risks. Retirement savings should be preserved for medical expenses and long-term care. Instead, she’s financing his concert trips and paying $400 each month for mystic sessions, while he racks up debt from maxed-out credit cards, two repossessed cars and buy-now-pay-later schemes.
Most concerning is Jason’s complete lack of self-awareness. His debt payoff strategy boils down to his mystic, who is also his friend, telling him he’d be debt-free by 2026. It isn’t based on any real plan, and he has no budget or path to increase his income.
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For adults like Jason who struggle with financial dependency, boundaries and a change in attitude are key. Here’s how to break the toxic cycle:
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** Have a reality check conversation.** Meet with a financial advisor to assess the damage. In Jason and his grandmother’s case, she’s preventing him from developing basic life skills while endangering her own future.
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** Build basic financial skills.** Start with fundamentals like budgeting and separating wants from needs. Free budgeting apps and nonproift credit counseling services can help (2).
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** Leverage existing experience strategically.** This is crucial. Savings.com reports that 77% of parents now set conditions on assistance, most commonly requiring active job searches or steady employment. To increase the odds of success, job seekers should focus on roles that build on their background. Jason, for example, should pursue administrative or entry-level office work using his data entry experience and tailor every application (3).
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Set concrete milestones. Skip vague goals. Create clear targets like applying to 10 jobs a week, accepting roles within your skill range, contributing to household expenses once employed and building a realistic debt payoff timeline.
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Address the mindset problem. Jason’s grandmother’s generosity has, at least in part, enabled a 29-year-old man who struggles to maintain housing, hold a job or manage bills.
His repeated phrase “I have to” when talking about nonessentials, like concert tickets, reveals the core issue: an inability to distinguish needs from wants. Without consequences, he has no reason to change. Solving that requires professional help that goes beyond budgeting.
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Caleb Hammer (1); CNBC (2); Savings.com (3).
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
