When finances and family blend in a second marriage, questions about fairness, love, and legacy often follow. That’s what one listener asked Suze Orman about on her “Women & Money” podcast.
At age 67, Michelle had about $1 million saved and two adult daughters she wanted to inherit her assets. Her new husband, however, had little retirement savings, though he paid the household bills and mortgage.
Her dilemma: Could she keep her children as her beneficiaries without leaving her spouse vulnerable or feeling excluded?
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Orman’s response offered both practical estate-planning guidance and a reminder about open conversations in marriage.
Beneficiaries Override Wills and Trusts
One of the most important points Orman emphasized is how beneficiary designations work. “How you designate a beneficiary overrides the wishes of any trust or will,” she explained. “So anything that you own in joint tenancy with right of survivorship is automatically going to go to him, even if your trust and or will says it’s to go to your children.”
If assets such as investment accounts are titled as payable on death to Michelle’s daughters, those funds would pass directly to them. But jointly owned property, such as the home purchased with her husband, may be a different story.
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The House Complicates Things
The couple had bought their home together, and for the sake of the conversation, Orman assumes it’s under joint tenancy with right of survivorship. Under this arrangement, if Michelle dies first, ownership would automatically transfer to her husband — even if her will stated otherwise. If, in turn, he left the property solely to his children, her daughters could be unintentionally disinherited from the home.
Orman suggested that the “proper” way to structure such a property might have been tenancy in common. This would allow each spouse to pass along their half of the home according to their will or trust.
Another option she mentioned was creating a life estate, which would let the surviving spouse live in the home until death, while ensuring that the original owner’s share ultimately goes to their children.
Balancing Fairness in the Marriage
Beyond legal structures, Orman also pointed out the emotional and financial fairness of the arrangement. In Michelle’s case, her husband was paying the mortgage and household bills, while she benefited from living in the house and any future appreciation.
Orman said this imbalance should be discussed openly. One option might be for Michelle to contribute more to household expenses, or for the couple to agree on how her share of the home’s value would be handled if her husband passed first.
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The Role of Honest Conversations
At the heart of Orman’s advice was the importance of transparency. Estate planning isn’t just about legal documents — it’s about clear, loving communication. Each partner should understand what assets they want to leave to their children, and what they want to provide for each other.
“You do have what it takes to solve this yourself,” Orman said. “And that’s by sitting down with him, in a loving way, and telling him what you feel and figuring out how to work it out.”
Key Takeaway
For couples entering marriage later in life, especially when assets are unequal, estate planning becomes more complex. Beneficiary designations, property titling, and life estates all play a role in protecting children’s inheritance while still caring for a spouse. But just as crucial, Orman reminded listeners, is the willingness to address these issues directly — not just with a lawyer, but with each other.
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