A woman in New York City called into “The Ramsey Show” recently because her 60-year-old mother-in-law has no savings and seems to think she and her husband will cover her bills when she can no longer work.
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The caller, Tiffany, explained that her mother-in-law, who is blind in one eye and works limited hours as a caregiver, can barely cover her basic living expenses. “She was good up until she couldn’t work as a nail technician anymore,” Tiffany said. Now, her part-time income only stretches to rent, utilities, food, and transportation.
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Tiffany and her husband have their hands full. They recently had their first child and live in a high-cost city with rent and daycare eating up much of their budget. What worries them most is the assumption that they will become her retirement plan.
“She has nothing saved for retirement,” Tiffany told co-hosts George Kamel and Jade Warshaw, adding that she had $20,000 in savings that she spent when she lost her job.
Kamel and Warshaw emphasized the importance of setting boundaries. “If I’m paying your bills, I’m going to be in charge of how much you’re paying for those bills and what your spending is,” Kamel said.
Instead of staying silent, they advised Tiffany and her husband to have a direct conversation with her mother-in-law to understand her actual expectations. If she truly expects long-term help, they should express their limits firmly and kindly.
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Kamel suggested a compassionate but firm approach: “We love you. We want to make sure you’re taken care of,” he said. “But we cannot and will not just support you for the rest of your life.”
Warshaw added that the mother-in-law still has time to build some level of independence. “So, if you can help her understand, ‘Okay, you’re 60, you’ve still got 10 years to really make something happen for yourself. Here’s how you do it.’”
Being 60 years old isn’t the end of the road; there are still options. She could try picking up more hours at work, exploring local resources for older adults, or even applying for disability if needed. Eventually, Social Security could also be part of the equation. The key is having a plan and taking action now instead of waiting for a crisis later.
For parents who may be in similar positions, Kamel had a direct message: “Please, don’t do this to your kids. Don’t be a burden.”
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