If you’ve ever tried to give financial advice to your parents and felt ignored, you’re not alone. Personal finance expert Dave Ramsey has a name for this all-too-common situation: “powdered butt syndrome.”
What Is Powdered Butt Syndrome?
As Ramsey put it on a recent episode of “The Ramsey Show,” “Once someone has powdered your butt, they don’t really want your opinion on money or sex.” In other words, it can be incredibly hard to influence the people who raised you, even when you’re right.
Don’t Miss:
This issue came up in a call from Elijah in Nashville, who shared that his parents are in their mid-50s with no retirement savings and are buried in debt from a car and RV. Despite having taught him to budget and go through Ramsey’s Financial Peace University, they now seem unwilling to take their own advice. “It feels like my parents can’t see what’s so clear to me and my wife,” Elijah said.
When You Surpass Your Parents Financially
Ramsey acknowledged how tricky this can be. “You’re in the least leveraged position to actually have influence,” he told Elijah. He advised against directly telling his parents what to do, and instead suggested Elijah talk about his own financial wins. “I have told [my friend] some wonderful stories about the peace I have driving cash-paid-for cars,” Ramsey said.
Trending: Wall Street’s $12B Real Estate Manager Is Opening Its Doors to Individual Investors — Without the Crowdfunding Middlemen
Ramsey’s daughter and co-host Rachel Cruze added another layer. “It is weird when you look at your parents, and you’re like, ‘Oh wow, I feel like I’m surpassing them in wisdom in an area,’” she said.
“And the irony is, they taught it to me,” Ramsey interjected.
Rather than creating tension, Ramsey encouraged Elijah to say things like, “Thank you for teaching me all those FPU lessons … it’s changed everything. We’re tracking to be millionaires by this date. Thank you so much.”
Influencing Without Insulting
Ramsey cautioned against pushing resources like books or courses too aggressively. “If you give a fat person a diet book, it’s kind of insulting,” he said. Even if well-intentioned, it might feel like judgment.
Instead, he recommended subtle strategies: share personal stories, express gratitude, and if the opportunity arises, answer their questions with strong, thought-provoking questions. For example: “What do you think you ought to do about the RV?”
See Also: Bill Gates Says Climate Change ‘Needs to Be Solved’ — This Award-Winning Building Material Is Tackling It Head-On
Ramsey also suggested enlisting outside voices, like a respected pastor, an old FPU coordinator or anyone they might take more seriously than their own child. And finally, he said, pray. “Ask God to send someone into their lives that’s going to mess with them. God, make them uncomfortable.”
A Common Family Tension
Elijah’s concern wasn’t just theoretical. He admitted he feared his parents might one day expect to live with him and his wife, but Ramsey reassured him that it’s not too late for them to change.
“They could turn this around in three years,” he said. “Sell the RV, get rid of the car payment, and start saving … they could be millionaires by the time they retire.”
The real issue, Ramsey said, is denial. “They just don’t want to connect the dots. They know. They taught you this stuff.”
It’s a frustrating place to be — watching loved ones struggle while feeling powerless to help. But as Ramsey emphasized, the best influence often comes from patience, example, and respect.
Read Next: An EA Co-Founder Shapes This VC Backed Marketplace—Now You Can Invest in Gaming’s Next Big Platform
Image: Shutterstock
