A caller from Arkansas stunned personal finance experts Dave Ramsey and Ken Coleman on a recent episode of “The Ramsey Show” after revealing that his father offered him $5,000 to give up control of a trust worth between $250,000 and $300,000.
“He’s asking you to trade $300,000 for $5,000,” Ramsey said, clearly baffled. “What planet does he live on that he thinks you would do that?”
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The caller, Jack, explained that his grandfather set up the trust for his three children, with lump sum payments for two of them. Jack’s father, however, had a history of poor financial decisions, so his portion was structured to be paid out annually. Upon his father’s death, the remainder would go to Jack.
Now, Jack’s 63-year-old father, a practicing lawyer, wants Jack to sign over the trust to him in full. He’s offered Jack thousands upfront to make it happen, starting at $10,000 and then reducing it to $5,000.
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“He said he wants to renovate his house, buy a new car and he claims that I will have the rest of the money,” Jack said. But based on his father’s track record, Jack doubts there will be anything left. He called the show seeking advice on how to handle the inevitable conflict.
Ramsey was frank as usual. “It’s impossible for you to take a man that is this unreasonable and make him reasonable with one conversation,” he said. “You preserve your dignity, your courage, your kindness, your integrity. That’s the only thing you have control over.”
Coleman compared the situation to surgery: painful, but necessary. “It’s not fun. It’s going to hurt. There’s going to be some recovery time. But on the other side, you’re going to be better off.”
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The two hosts agreed that the best approach is a short, precise boundary with no lengthy explanations. Ramsey suggested Jack say, “Dad, Grandpa put this in place and I’m just going to abide by Grandpa’s wishes. Thanks for asking.”
“Anytime you’re setting a boundary with a boundaryless person, less is more,” Ramsey added. “The longer you talk, the more you’re going to mess this up.”
