Financial stability feels out of reach when one spouse refuses to share control of the money.
Denise from Ohio wrote to “The Ramsey Show” describing a marriage where budgeting is off the table and expensive purchases appear without warning. She said her husband refuses to sit down and create a spending plan because he “doesn’t want limitations” on how he uses their income.
“D-I-V-O-R-C-E,” personal finance expert Dave Ramsey said, telling her that was the only way she would be secure in retirement if nothing changed.
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She said she separated their finances because she has “no doubt” he would spend her money along with his if their accounts remained combined. Both contribute a portion of their income to pay bills, yet he insists on managing those payments and is regularly late.
She also wrote that he has been telling her not to put money into her 401(k) or she will “lose everything.” He has no retirement savings beyond silver investments.
“If you stay married to him you’re going to be broke your whole life and frustrated,” Ramsey said.
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Refusal To Budget And Share Control
Co-host Rachel Cruze said the issue reflects selfishness, pointing to his refusal to discuss a budget and his pattern of making financial decisions without including his wife.
“He does whatever he wants to do, whenever he wants to do it. He has no limitations on him whatsoever by anyone,” Ramsey said, describing what he viewed as a complete absence of limits.
Denise wrote that she does not know what to do other than make sure she has a secure retirement.
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Counseling Before An Ultimatum
“If you were my little sister and I loved you, which I do, I would say I don’t want your marriage to end,” Ramsey said. “But I think your husband has chosen to end it.”
He recommended meeting with a marriage counselor, pastor or trained professional who can guide conversations that could lead to an ultimatum: agree to counseling and begin handling money together with mutual respect, or the marriage ends.
“It’s sad he chooses that over you,” Cruze said.
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