When Judy, a longtime listener of the “Women & Money” podcast, wrote in to Suze Orman, she shared a financial situation that’s far more common than many realize. Despite a significant income gap between her and her husband, Judy found herself co-signing on a $45,000 home equity line of credit, or HELOC, to cover his undisclosed credit card debt — all while pregnant with their first child.
Orman had a lot to say.
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A Big Income, a Big Secret
Judy makes $63,000 a year working in government. Her husband earns more than double that — about $150,000 annually. Yet shortly after Judy found out she was pregnant in 2024, her husband revealed he had racked up $45,000 in credit card debt. Instead of tackling the debt directly, they took out a HELOC with a 10% interest rate to pay it off.
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Now, Judy regrets the decision.
Orman immediately pointed out the imbalance: “Did you ever ask him what did he spend that $45,000 on?” she asked.
It seemed that Judy didn’t know — and that, Orman emphasized, was a problem. For someone earning six figures, accumulating that much debt without explanation could be a sign of deeper financial issues, such as compulsive spending or even gambling.
Why Suze Says Judy Should Take Control
Orman urged Judy to take full control of the HELOC. Even though her husband is currently making the payments, Orman said Judy should be the one actually sending in the money each month — after her husband gives it to her.
“I want you to call the company that you have the home equity line of credit with, and I want you to ask them if, in fact, has he been on time,” Orman said. “Have your payments been on time every single month, or have there been late charges with those payments?”
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She also advised Judy to check both of their credit reports to better understand their overall financial standing. The goal: to move away from passivity and become the active financial decision-maker in the relationship.
Trouble on the Horizon: A Mother-in-Law’s Request
On top of the HELOC, Judy shared another concern — her husband’s mother. With a credit score below 600 and a history of refinancing her home multiple times, Judy’s mother-in-law now wants her son to co-sign a lease for a $2,000-per-month apartment.
Orman was firm: “No, he is not going to co-sign that loan.”
Why? Because the financial risk would fall on both spouses. If the mother-in-law can’t afford her rent, Judy and her husband may be left paying the bill — or worse, dealing with damage to their own credit.
Orman suggested a less risky compromise: If her husband feels obligated to help his mom, he could simply give her the $450 monthly difference between her current housing cost and the apartment rent — not co-sign on a lease.
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A Path Forward
Despite the challenges, Orman assured Judy that she is making strong financial strides on her own. She’s built up an emergency fund, started saving for her child’s education, and contributes to both a pension and retirement plan.
Orman’s advice was clear: Judy must stay involved, demand financial transparency, and set firm boundaries with her husband and his family.
“You have to be the strong one, because your husband is not,” she said.
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