A 29-year-old man earning about $90,000 said a long-planned international trip with his girlfriend fell into conflict. The disagreement began when a budgeting discussion about an Italy vacation turned into an argument over how costs should be split.
The original poster wrote on the r/AmITheJerk subreddit that the dispute surfaced when he proposed saving and dividing expenses evenly for the trip. His girlfriend rejected the idea, saying his approach felt “stingy and transactional about love.”
Don’t Miss:
Where Their Money Views Started To Clash
The OP wrote that he and his 27-year-old girlfriend have been together for nearly three years and live separately in the same city. He works in IT and earns about $90,000 a year, while she earns roughly $55,000. He wrote that growing up lower middle class shaped his careful approach to money.
Until recently, he wrote, their everyday spending had felt manageable. He pays for most dinners, rideshares, and planned outings, estimating he covers about 60% to 70% of shared costs. She often buys groceries, pays for brunch, or handles smaller expenses.
Trending: Earn While You Scroll: The Deloitte-Ranked #1 Software Company Growing 32,481% Is Opening Its $0.50/Share Round to Accredited Investors.
Italy Travel Plans Stall Over How To Split The Bill
A few weeks before the post, the couple began planning their first major vacation together. The OP said his girlfriend suggested a 10-day trip to Italy in late summer, an idea he supported. He created a rough budget covering flights, hotels, trains, food, and tours, estimating the total at about $4,500 for both of them — excluding shopping.
He suggested that if they started saving immediately, each could set aside about $400 to $450 per month over several months and split the cost evenly.
After reviewing the spreadsheet, she laughed and questioned why he was treating the trip “like a business contract,” pointing out that he earns significantly more. She added that a serious partner would simply cover the trip and let her contribute in smaller ways.
In response, he wrote that he did not want to set a pattern where major expenses automatically fell on him, especially before they lived together.
See Also: This Jeff Bezos-backed startup will allow you to become a landlord in just 10 minutes, with minimum investments as low as $100.
Cost-Splitting Talks Hit A Wall
The OP explained his financial priorities, including paying down student loans and building an emergency fund. He wrote that covering more than $3,000 himself while she paid around $1,500 felt unbalanced. During that discussion, she compared him to an ex who never asked her to pay for vacations.
Since then, he said, the tension continued. She made sarcastic comments about money during meals, and later compromise proposals were dismissed.
He suggested splitting costs based on income, such as a 60-40 arrangement or covering flights while she handled her spending money. She rejected those options, saying they showed he was “keeping score.”
Read Next: Wall Street’s $12B Real Estate Manager Is Opening Its Doors to Individual Investors — Without the Crowdfunding Middlemen
Image: Imagn
