A man who retired at 49 with a steady $4,000 monthly pension and a paid-off home now finds himself drowning in $85,000 in personal loans plus another $5,000 in credit card debt. At 65, he’s asking his sons for $1,000 a month to help stay afloat.
The problem? His kids are in their prime working years and have their own financial responsibilities, including plans to fund graduate school.
During a recent episode of “The Ramsey Show,” co-hosts Jade Warshaw and John Delony didn’t sugarcoat their advice: helping your parents is admirable — but not when it puts your own future at risk.
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A Tough Ask From Dad
The caller said his father, mostly healthy after a recent minor heart attack, has been out of the workforce for over 15 years. His pension provides about $48,000 annually, and he typically gets an extra $7,000 to $12,000 in end-of-year bonuses.
Still, his loan payments total around $2,500 each month, leaving him short. To close the gap, he’s asking his sons to front him $1,000 a month now, with a promise to pay them back when the bonus comes through.
But Ramsey personalities Warshaw and Delony said this isn’t just a financial dilemma — it’s an emotional one.
“He’s put you and your brother in an incredibly awkward position,” Delony said. “On behalf of dads everywhere, I’m sorry he did that to you. ‘Cause dads aren’t supposed to do that to their boys.”
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Retired Too Early — And With Too Much Debt
Retiring at 49 is uncommon — and risky without serious financial planning. The caller explained his dad spends his time on a small hobby farm, which might bring in $7,000 to $10,000 if sold, but isn’t enough to offset the mounting debt.
Warshaw questioned the decision to walk away from the workforce so early, especially with loans still on the table. “He for sure has six good working years in him,” she said, adding that he could bring in an extra $1,000 per month without putting pressure on his children.
The Money’s Already Spoken For
The caller said he technically has the funds to help, but they’re set aside for his wife’s graduate school. Warshaw was quick to push back: “It’s earmarked for something else, so that means you don’t have it.”
Using earmarked money, especially for long-term goals like education, can sabotage a couple’s financial future and strain the marriage in the process.
Time for a Wake-Up Call
Delony emphasized the need for an honest conversation between father and sons. “You’re broke, man,” he said, describing what the son needs to tell his father directly.
That conversation should include hard questions: Is Dad willing to return to work? Sell assets? Downsize? Or is he simply looking for an easier way out — one that comes at his children’s expense?
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According to Delony, it’s not about being ungrateful or harsh — it’s about setting boundaries and making responsible choices. He said it would be different if the caller’s father didn’t have food or shelter, but “this isn’t that.”
Love, Support — And Limits
Warshaw and Delony both stressed that while supporting aging parents is an honorable thing to do, it shouldn’t come at the cost of your own stability.
“He put a wedge in y’all’s father-son relationship by saying, ‘Hey, I know your wife’s in school. I know y’all are thinking about having a family. I know y’all are thinking these things. I don’t care,” Delony said. “Don’t further that wedge by creating a business transaction between the two of you.”
At the end of the day, love doesn’t always mean saying yes. In this case, as Ramsey’s team made clear, saying no may be the most loving — and responsible — choice of all.
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