He’s Financially Independent With A Paid-Off House, But He’s Considering Paying Off His Ex-Wife’s Mortgage. ‘Feeling A Bit Guilty’

A financially independent man with a paid-off home is wrestling with a decision most people will never face: whether to pay off his ex-wife’s remaining mortgage so she and their teenage son can stay in the house the child has always called home.

Life and the stock market have treated him extremely well since his divorce, he said in a recent post on Reddit’s r/personalfinance. His income surged afterward, his own house is fully paid off, his son’s college fund is “flush,” and he’s working a low-stress, high-income remote job with plans to exit in a year or two.

Yet one obligation still sits in the background, a mortgage tied to his former marriage.

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A Mortgage, A Moral Question And A Child In The Middle

The remaining balance is about $180,000 at roughly 5% interest, with payments scheduled through 2041. The mortgage is still in his name, and he currently pays it as part of his alimony and child support arrangement, taking the tax benefits along the way.

The problem comes in 2030. That’s when child support ends, and, as he put it, his ex-wife “simply will not be able to afford the payment.” Selling the house would almost certainly follow.

“We built the house and our son has always called it home,” he wrote. “Hate for her to have to sell it.”

“My income really took off after we divorced so feeling a bit guilty,” he said, adding that his ex-wife has been “an amazing mother” and that they still get along well.

From a purely technical standpoint, he was torn between paying the mortgage off in one lump sum or continuing payments over five years. Stretching it out would preserve tax advantages, especially during early retirement, but would result in more interest paid over time.

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The Internet Responds With Feelings, Math And Strong Opinions

The comment section quickly filled with two competing instincts: compassion and calculation.

Many readers focused squarely on the human element. One of the most upvoted replies said simply, “If you can afford it and it doesn’t hurt your retirement, yes,” one of the most upvoted replies said. “You are an amazing person.”

Others framed the decision as something his son would remember forever. “Someday your son will understand what you did for his mom and it will mean so much,” one commenter wrote. “Strong relationships mean a whole lot more than extra money in the bank.”

Several commenters shared painful personal stories of ex-spouses who fought child support or disappeared financially, contrasting those experiences with what they saw as an extraordinary act of generosity.

But not everyone was persuaded by the emotional framing.

A sizable group argued this was “just a math problem.” At 5% interest, especially with a mortgage interest deduction, paying slowly while investing the cash elsewhere could be the optimal financial move.

“Nothing is stopping you from dragging it out even longer,” one commenter wrote, viewing it as a guaranteed-return decision instead of a moral one.

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That sparked pushback from others who felt emotional clarity mattered more than optimization. “We are emotional beings more than we are logical math machines,” another commenter replied. “It’s really nice to not have debt and/or have a more simple financial situation even if it’s at the expense of not maximizing your return.”