Tanner from South Carolina has been running a photography and videography business for 10 years. He built it from the ground up, long before he got married. Now, seven years into marriage, he’s facing unexpected friction; not from a competitor, but from his wife.
She Wants In On Decisions He Built Alone
In a recent episode of “The Ramsey Show,” co-host Ken Coleman read Tanner’s letter out loud. According to Tanner, his wife believes that since they’re married, the business is now “our business,” and she should have a say in how it’s run. That includes job bookings, customer communication, pricing, and even how the final product is delivered.
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“I’m glad to work with her on a number of jobs that I book, which impacts our time together,” Tanner wrote. “But I draw the line on how I run my business day to day. Am I wrong for wanting to run the business I built my way?”
Coleman was straightforward. “No, you’re not wrong,” he said. “She’s entitled to her opinion. That doesn’t mean her opinion should sway the way you run the business if you guys didn’t enter into this business together.”
Personal finance expert and host Dave Ramsey agreed and said, “Sounds like she’s a handful.”
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Wife Isn’t A Team Member In The Business
Ramsey explained the difference using a classic business framework: the three-circle Venn diagram of a family business—owner, family, and team member. “You are all three. She is not. She’s one of the owners and she’s a family member, but she is not a team member,” Ramsey said.
That distinction matters. Ramsey said spouses can and should offer input, but that doesn’t equal operational control unless they’re actively working in the business. “She has taken more ground than she has been given,” he added.
Ramsey even gave a personal example, referring to his own wife: “Sharon Ramsey has some opinions about things that we do at Ramsey, but she does not tell us where to order copier paper and she does not develop marketing strategy.”
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Marriage Advice Might Be The Next Step
Coleman floated the idea of finding an area within the business where Tanner’s wife could have more input. Ramsey immediately disagreed. “No, I wouldn’t,” he said, explaining that unless you work there, you shouldn’t be speaking about product design, pricing, which customers to take or what schedule to run. “That’s ops control. That’s a [chief operating officer]. That’s not spousal control,” he said.
The co-hosts agreed the situation might need outside help. “I think a marriage therapist might be in order on this,” Coleman said.
Ramsey emphasized that this wasn’t a gender issue: “It’s not a woman’s place. It’s a man’s place. Either one. The roles could be reversed.”
The bottom line? Offering wisdom and counsel is part of a strong marriage. Trying to run a business you don’t work in is not.
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