How to Worry Less About Money With a Partner

Have you ever had one of those times where Murphy’s Law feels like it’s actually real? Where everything that can go wrong does go wrong and you can barely keep your head above water? I sure have, many times. If you’ve read my blogs before, you may have heard about my financial year from h-e-double-hockey-sticks. Medical expenses, car repairs, broken furnaces—the list goes on and on. And sometimes it feels like everything hits at once.

Times like those sure can be annoying, but those are also the times I appreciate YNAB most. When life comes at you all at once, it feels amazing to have a spending plan that helps you handle it. That’s when I look back and think, “Wow! I really have gotten good at money!” And that’s a beautiful thing. 

Maybe you’re thinking, “Uh…Ben? I don’t feel that way at all. I worry about money constantly. In truth, I feel like I’m pretty bad at money.” If that’s the case, you’re certainly not alone. But the good news is that you can get better at this. Getting good at money is a skill that you can learn. 

Let’s take Sydney’s story as just one example. 

What started as a personal money shift after college grew into something even more powerful: a shared plan for a shared life. And the moment she and her partner knew it was all working was when they were spending the most! In the midst of their biggest spending month ever, they were surprised to look at each other and say, “We’re not even worried.”

I’ll tell you the story of that big spending month. But, first, let’s rewind a bit.

Sydney was kind enough to let us share her story with you (by the way, you can submit your YNAB story too! 

From just tracking to total clarity

In 2022, fresh out of college and new to the working world, Sydney started using YNAB.

I loved the flexibility and customization YNAB offered. My favorite part was that I could name categories whatever I wanted (with as many emojis as my heart desired 🥰).

Tracking her spending with YNAB made sense to her right away. It helped her really get organized and start feeling like she could get a handle on this money thing. With every category, she started shaping a life she really wanted.

The world was my oyster and my money was mine to do with as I pleased.

Yes, Sydney was grateful to start using YNAB early in life, but she soon discovered that there was even more for her to learn before she really felt like she was good at money.

Two people, one plan

A couple years later, Sydney and her college sweetheart got engaged. As she put it, “of course that meant combining our budgets too.”

We love a good YNAB Together conversion story around here: “I had converted him to YNAB shortly after my obsession began,” she said. Aw, boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, girl gets boy to intentionally plan his spending. It’s a tale as old as time.

Combining finances became a fresh start for both of them. But it also triggered a realization for Sydney:

I’d been using the YNAB app (and loving it), but not following the YNAB method. Lemme tell you: GAMECHANGER.

This is something I love about YNAB stories like Sydney’s. Signing up for the YNAB app is just the beginning. Over the years, so many find there’s always room to go even deeper. For Sydney, she realized that she’d really only been tracking her spending. And while that alone helped her reach some big goals, there was more to learn to really feel like she was good at money.

The turning point: learning the YNAB Method

Sydney always loved the app, but when she re-worked her plan to incorporate her partner, she made a major shift—she wanted to learn to not just track her spending but to actively plan as well. To help with that process, Sydney dove headfirst into YNAB content—Budget Nerds, YouTube videos, and blogs like this one! 

And with each new bit of knowledge, things began to click. She wanted to do more than use the app, she wanted to really follow the YNAB method. She wanted to actively plan her spending.

So Sydney started giving every dollar a job. She and her partner got a month ahead. They added individual fun money categories. And just like that, something shifted: money became a source of peace, not tension.

We were consistently saving for big goals and large expenses… which gave us the freedom to spend the rest without stress or guilt!

Their biggest spending month ever

Alright, back to that big spending month:

Over a year into our combined budget, we spent double our average monthly spending—and we were happy about it! Why? Because it was all part of the plan.

That’s right. The moment Sydney realized she had really gotten good at money was when she was spending the most—double what she normally spends. Too often, we think that being good at money means not spending it. Extreme frugality is often seen as the ultimate money virtue. And while there’s nothing wrong with saving for a purpose, intentional spending is just as powerful (even when you’re spending a lot all at once).

Now, I know you’re curious what Sydney spent all that money on. Well, she told us. In a single month, they covered:

• Their annual auto insurance bill (which they’d been saving for monthly),
• Final wedding vendor deposits (fully funded months ago), and
• A long-awaited dream: her partner’s new gaming PC, purchased with over a year of saved fun money.

She summed it up perfectly:

Pre-YNAB, never in a million bajillion years would all three of those things have been able to happen in the same month, stress-free.

But they did. And it was! Sydney had gotten good at money. So good she could spend twice as much as normal in a single month and not even flinch. 

What changed? Everything.

Today, Sydney’s future is really looking bright. She and her fiancee’s gifting categories reflect their shared value of generosity. And they make joyful tradeoffs to make it happen. Sydney cooks more, and eats out less. (“Good for our budget and our health!” she says).

And their goals? They’re big: buying a home and retiring early. .

Money conversations feel easier now. There’s less friction, more understanding. They sit down, look at the plan, and make decisions together.

Having something visual to focus on outside of ourselves makes it way easier to make decisions and tradeoffs as a team.

And since I have a little more, ahem, life experience than Sydney (I mean, I’m not that old, okay!), I can see a benefit that she didn’t even mention. 

How YNAB improves relationships

Getting good at money and learning to communicate about it will do wonders for Sydney’s relationship. How much more joyful and secure will Sydney feel in the years to come without the money fights that plague so many marriages today? Seriously, is there anything they can’t accomplish together?  I told you Sydney’s future is looking bright!

Sydney and her partner aren’t done dreaming. But the way they’re spending now is already a reflection of who they want to be—generous, intentional, and worry-free.

They didn’t have to wait for a raise, a windfall, or the perfect spreadsheet to get good at money. They just needed a method that matched their values and a tool that could grow with them.

And now, even the big spending months? There’s no worry. Just joy.

Thanks so much for sharing your story, Sydney. Here’s to all the future spending you can do without worry!

Do you want to be like Sydney and live without money worry? It’s possible! Get YNAB. Get good at money, and never worry about money again.

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