A 34-year-old woman said she is reconsidering her engagement after discovering her fiancé, 41, spent $20,000 on race boat parts instead of saving for their $5,000 wedding. She posted on Reddit that they had agreed to postpone their October elopement until next year to keep finances stable, but she said the purchase showed he was prioritizing his hobby over shared decisions.
The couple shares a 2-year-old child, and the man has two children from a prior relationship. She said all the children are close, and both parents treat them equally.
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The pair also manages money through separate personal accounts, a joint household account, and a business account. Their joint funds, she explained, are earmarked for projects such as installing air conditioning at home, with plans to later save for a motorbike trailer for family use.
Wedding Plans Postponed
The bride-to-be said they had been engaged for 1.5 years after dating for five. Their small wedding budget — about $5,000 — covered attire, rings, photography, and a celebrant. The couple had agreed to delay the event, along with a planned honeymoon in the U.S., so they could save without straining other obligations.
But she later learned her fiancé had spent $20,000 on boat parts. She said the money could have covered nearly half the ceremony and expressed frustration that she also lost her deposit for the October date.
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She told him his actions felt selfish. “I don’t feel he prioritizes joint decisions we make,” she said. While she has supported his racing hobby, she explained she expected him to limit spending until they were financially secure.
Her fiancé argued that he used his personal money and said postponing the wedding meant there was no conflict. He reportedly told her to “get down off my high horse and stop carrying on with unnecessary BS.” The woman said his response left her reconsidering whether to move forward with marriage.
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Flowers, Apology, And New Agreement
In an update, she said her fiancé later apologized and admitted his purchase was wrong. He assured her that “the boat is not more important than me” and brought her flowers. He also promised to stop spending on his race boat until household expenses were covered.
The couple agreed to continue prioritizing bills through their joint account and revisit wedding discussions next year if finances improve. For now, she said her focus remains on stability for their family.
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