A private inheritance has left one woman questioning how honesty fits into modern dating. After inheriting about $3 million through a trust, a poster described her situation on r/AskMenAdvice subreddit.
She wrote that she lives intentionally below what people might expect and is weighing when — or whether — to disclose her finances to potential partners.
The original poster wrote that the inheritance came from a loved one who passed away and was structured as a trust that restricts access to most of the money. She receives only a small annual distribution and cannot withdraw from the bulk of the principal.
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The trust is invested based on guidance from multiple financial advisers. Knowledge of the arrangement is limited to a few family members and one friend.
She added that she lives in the U.S., works about 30 hours a week in a lower-paying medical role, and appears middle class at first glance.
Financial Security Without A Flashy Lifestyle
The OP wrote that she is financially secure and no longer needs to save for retirement, but does not live what she described as a luxurious life. She rents a slightly worn but comfortable mid-range apartment and drives what she described as a “sensible” and safe car, chosen for its safety features rather than status.
“I don’t want people trying to use me,” she wrote in the post, adding that she also wants to avoid complicating friendships or relationships. She explained that she did not earn the money and sees no benefit in sharing details about the trust.
Her combined earned income and trust distributions total less than $100,000 a year, according to the post. She continues working despite not needing to for financial survival.
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Dating And Disclosure Timing
The OP asked how and when to disclose the trust without appearing secretive or creating discomfort. She wrote that disclosing early felt unnecessary, while waiting longer could lead financially literate partners to question how her lifestyle aligns with her income.
She wrote that she prefers to date men who are financially literate, reasonably comfortable, and living a similar lifestyle. She added that she does not want a partner’s money and does not want her own finances to become a source of emotional strain or conflict in a relationship.
Commenters Stress Privacy In Early Dating
“My thought is keep this to yourself. No reason to bring it up, especially in early stages,” one commenter wrote. The post drew responses that emphasized keeping financial details private, particularly in early dating.
Another Redditor added, “It’s really this simple. It’s only relevant if you give it the chance to be relevant.”
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