Having your card declined is awkward. But having it declined at the end of a full restaurant meal — while your server stands there, waiting — takes it to another level. And when that server reacts with visible attitude? Now you’re paying with your dignity, not your card.
That’s exactly what one Redditor claimed happened during a dinner date with his wife. In a now-viral post titled “AITAH for tipping 83¢?” he laid it out: his card was flagged for fraud and declined by the bank, the waitress got snippy, and instead of her usual 30% tip, she got a sharp 83 cents.
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The waitress, according to the man, slapped the card on the table and said only one word: “Declined.” When he offered a second card, she just stood there, silent. So he asked: “You okay?” That’s when she reportedly snapped back: “If I go back and try to run this, are you still going to be sitting here when I get back?”
He responded by asking if she thought her tone was appropriate. Her reply? “You’re only a customer if you pay.” At that point, he asked to speak to the manager — but she never brought one over.
Eventually, the second card went through. She returned, apologized, and handed him the receipt.
Instead of tipping the $28.83 he said he would have left for good service, he wrote in $0.83 — a signal, not a service fee.
“You’re really not going to tip me?” she asked.
“No,” he replied. “You were rude to me.”
The waitress then pulled the sympathy card: “I have to tip out the bartender and the busboy. I just paid money to serve you.”
His response? “Well, in the future you shouldn’t be so rude.”
His wife, meanwhile, wasn’t on board. She argued it was likely a misunderstanding and told him he should’ve left at least $10 out of courtesy.
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But Reddit? Reddit came to his defense — hard.
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“Your waitress earned every penny of that tip!” one user wrote.
“I wouldn’t have tipped 83 cents. NTA,” another added.
Even ex-servers jumped in:
“Former server here — I always tip 20% unless they’re rude. You can mess up, be slammed, and I’ll understand. But don’t take it out on me.”
Another commenter put it bluntly:
“She f—ed around and found out.”
Several former waitstaff said they handled declined cards with grace — especially since it’s often due to tech issues or fraud flags, not intentional dodging. One even shared:
“I waited tables for years and never once embarrassed someone over a declined card. That’s not how you treat people.”
And yet, in a sea of Not the A******,* there was a rare outlier — a hairstylist who admitted they understood the waitress’s reaction and suggested maybe a partial tip was still fair:
“I wouldn’t have tipped well, but I wouldn’t have tipped 83 cents either… Tip at least enough for them to break even, maybe $5–10. But still, I may just be biased.”
The comment struck a nerve — and it showed. It was the only one buried with 28 downvotes.
The court of public opinion was clear. He didn’t want to pay to be insulted, and Reddit agreed he shouldn’t have.
For the record, servers are legally supposed to earn at least minimum wage once tips are factored in — but whether that actually happens depends on the state and the employer. So yes, while tipping isn’t technically mandatory, it is how most servers survive — and choosing that job means relying on the kindness (and mood) of strangers.
Then again, kindness works both ways. And sometimes, a little respect might be worth more than 83 cents.
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