‘It’s Their Job As Parents’ — Man, 30, Says He Makes More Money Than ‘Mom & Dad Combined’ But They Still Pay For Everything When He Visits

When you’re a kid, it’s expected: your parents pay for your meals, your movie tickets, your popcorn refills. But what if you’re 30, financially independent, and pulling in more income than your parents combined—yet they still insist on footing the bill like it’s 1999?

That’s the dilemma shared by one millennial in a post on the r/Millennials subreddit. “I make more now than both my mom & dad combined,” the man wrote. “But they still try and pay for things when I visit like I’m 10 still.” 

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A Grown Adult, Still Getting the Parent Treatment

Visiting home for the holidays, he described going out shopping, to the movies, or grabbing meals with his parents, and struggling with the unshakable guilt that bubbles up when they reach for the check. “I’m a grown ass man,” he wrote. “You do not need to pay for me like a child anymore. If anything, I’ll pay for you.”

But his parents won’t hear it. “It’s their job as parents to help out their children, whether they’re 10, 30, or 50,” they told him. The man clarified that he’s not trying to reimburse them for childhood expenses—he just wants to show appreciation and prove he’s financially self-sufficient. “I haven’t [needed their money] for like a whole decade lol.”

So what’s the solution? According to the poster, they usually end up splitting the bill, but even that leaves him feeling weird. “Should I just bite the bullet & accept it, or insist & cover my parents?” he asked fellow millennials.

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What Other Families Actually Do

Plenty of commenters said: accept it—with grace. “Be generous and accept generosity,” one advised. “The guilt doesn’t help you.” Another agreed, adding that if he really wants to give back, he could sneak in a thoughtful gift or pick up a bill in secret.

Others shared their own family traditions. “My mom usually tries to pay. I make a LOT more money than her though, so I’ll sneak the waiter my card before she has a chance,” one said. “Every once in a while I’ll let her win one, but it’s probably 90/10.” Another user, 32, added, “My parents will not let me pay when we go out. My mom once told me she thinks it’s weird when parents make their kids pay.”