He didn’t invite them to the wedding. They’ve never met the grandkids. And according to him, they never will—unless they pay back what they lost, plus interest.
In a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A–hole?” forum, one man laid out exactly what led him to cut off contact with his parents. The core of it? His inheritance—gone before he ever touched it.
“My grandparents passed away when I was very young. They left me an inheritance that would have paid for my education and helped me get started in life,” he wrote. But instead of protecting the account his grandfather had set up, his father stepped in. “My dad decided that he could do better than the account my grandfather left my money in.”
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He couldn’t. By the time the son turned 18, there was only $27,000 left. He later found out that his cousins and sister each received roughly 10 times that amount. “That was about 10% of what everyone else got,” he said. “If my parents had left it alone, I would be in a good place.”
To make things worse, his parents also burned through part of the inheritance left to his mother. Meanwhile, his sister—who was old enough to receive her share directly—walked away with the full amount and no strings attached.
Years later, the parents began asking to be involved in their son’s life again. But he laid out a non-negotiable condition. “I said that if they replaced my money, with interest, I would forgive them and allow them to meet my kids.”
He estimates that number to be somewhere between $250,000 and $300,000. His parents, now nearing retirement, said that amount would put a serious dent in their savings. “I asked them how much they would have if my idiot father didn’t think he knew better than my grandfather.”
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He hasn’t softened with time. They still haven’t met their grandchildren, and he says his stance is about more than money—it’s about accountability. “I want my children to know that if they are wronged, ‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t mean anything without actual penance.”
His sister called him mean. He offered a compromise: if she doesn’t think the money matters, she could give him her share. “She said she wasn’t going to do that.” He also pointed out she’s child-free, leaving his children as their only grandchildren. That, too, is non-negotiable.
Critics online pushed back, suggesting he was overreacting. His reply: “If you don’t think a quarter of a million dollars would make a difference in your life, you are welcome to slide that amount my way.” Later, he joked that anyone offering $300,000 could “buy my forgiveness.”
Some responses speculated the money was never truly lost at all. More likely, it was rerouted into his parents’ retirement accounts. “So basically… you’re their retirement fund?” one person wrote. Another added, “Funny how Dad ‘knew better’ with your money, but not his.”
Others urged him to get a lawyer, or at the very least, demand a forensic accounting of the missing funds. But he says he’s not pursuing legal action—for now. His life, as he describes it, is full: “I have money, and a wife, and kids. I also have a great group of friends and coworkers. On top of that, my wife’s family is amazing.”
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As for his parents?
“I choose forgiveness and no relationship.”
A 2025 survey from Choice Mutual highlights just how common this kind of financial expectation really is. Roughly two-thirds of Millennials and Gen Z adults say they expect to receive an inheritance from their parents or grandparents. On average, those expecting one believe it will total around $335,000. That makes the amount this man says his parents lost feel, unfortunately, painfully normal.
Some might say it borders on entitlement—especially when the money wasn’t legally locked away and the parents technically had control. Others may argue it’s a generational rift: a missed shot at homeownership, education, or simply breathing room. Either way, it’s hard not to imagine how different his start in life could have looked with that kind of cushion. Financial mistakes happen—but so do lifelong consequences.
Whether it’s money you expect to leave behind or money you hope to receive, financial professionals often recommend working with an adviser to ensure those assets actually serve their intended purpose. Because without safeguards—or conversations—what’s meant to build a future can just as easily vanish into someone else’s retirement plan.
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