‘Ramsey Show’ Listener Says It ‘Feels Degrading’ As Husband Keeps Separate Bank Accounts Instead Of Acting Like ‘A Team’

A dispute over separate bank accounts has created tension in one marriage. 

Shauna wrote to “The Ramsey Show” that instead of operating as partners, the couple moves money back and forth through electronic transfers, an arrangement that has made her feel less like a partner and more like an obligation.

“I want us to be a team, but he refuses to budge on linking our accounts,” she wrote.

The Canadian said in her message that the setup “feels degrading” and makes her feel like a burden. Shauna said she works part-time as a teacher and mom while her husband brings in most of the income.

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Separate Accounts And A Growing Emotional Toll

Co-host Jade Warshaw said Shauna was right and that married couples should combine their accounts.

Warshaw said Shauna had already communicated clearly about how the situation makes her feel and that dismissing those emotions is serious.

“This isn’t about money and savings accounts. You’re beyond that. This is about power,” co-host John Delony said. He said if one spouse says a behavior crosses a line and the response is indifference, it reflects deeper trouble in the relationship.

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Counseling, Boundaries And The ‘Or What’

Warshaw urged Shauna and her husband to seek counseling and establish clear boundaries.

Delony said Shauna may need to tell her husband directly that she has already shared how this affects her and that she wants partnership. If the conversation cannot move any further, he said she should tell him she is going to see a counselor and invite him to come.

“And if he says no, then you have to have your or what,” Delony said.

He said many couples avoid that question, even though financial tension often reflects deeper relationship patterns. Bringing those issues into the open, he said, can sometimes lead to meaningful change — or force difficult decisions.

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A Broader Debate Over Splitting Finances

Warshaw broadened the conversation to couples who routinely send each other electronic payments for shared expenses. She questioned how a marriage works when spouses Venmo one another for rent or dinner, particularly when their incomes are far apart.

Delony said marriage requires going all in, including financially, even though that kind of commitment carries risk.

“God help you, man, that’s horrible,” he said.

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