Work and friendship can overlap without much trouble—until money enters the mix. That’s what one 35-year-old man is dealing with after his wife’s longtime friend left her job just before her benefits fully vested, and then blamed him for staying silent while she walked away from over $50,000.
In a post on Reddit, the man explained that his wife and the woman—29-year-old Sara—had been close since college. They were sorority sisters. When a position opened up at his company, Sara got the job and joined his team. She was driven, made quick progress, and was even promoted within six months. Everything seemed to be moving in her favor.
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But after missing out on a major internal promotion, things changed.
“We gave the position to a more deserving candidate in my eyes,” he wrote. He could tell Sara was disappointed. She soon handed in her two-week notice but offered to stay a full month to wrap up her projects. “We accepted,” he added, and noted that they had hoped to keep her onboard.
He says he told her honestly that a raise wasn’t on the table. “She was already at the top of her pay scale,” he wrote. “Her job offer was actually lower pay so there was no leverage there either.” Soon after that conversation, Sara decided to leave immediately—cutting her notice short.
What neither of them talked about at the time was the company’s three-year vesting schedule. Like many firms, this one delayed the employer match on both 401(k) contributions and stock purchases. The man described the benefits as generous—10% match on retirement contributions, plus a 2-for-1 stock match—and said he had encouraged her to participate fully. She did, maxing out both programs every year.
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But to keep the employer match, she had to hit the three-year mark. And she was only a few weeks away.
“It’s something I realized between Sara’s notice and her quitting,” he wrote. “I wasn’t able to advise her of this, nor did I know how much she put into these programs. There was really nothing I could do when she abruptly quit.”
That decision cost her more than $50,000. Two months later, Sara confronted him at home.
“She came over with my wife and laid into me,” he said. “She tried transferring her funds and found out about the vesting period and asked if I knew.” He said he told her what happened—that he hadn’t expected her to leave early, and didn’t think to bring it up.
“I told her the situation and how I did not consider her quitting immediately,” he wrote. Still, Sara and his wife both told him he was in the wrong for not saying anything.
In the replies, readers were divided. Some said Sara was responsible for knowing her own benefits, especially since she changed her departure date on her own. “She made the rash decision not to follow through on her notice without consulting you or her contract,” one person wrote. “Now, she’s trying to blame you for her actions.”
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Others saw the personal dynamic as more complicated. “Had you thought of it—her one-month notice would have covered her vesting,” one user said. “She’ll be angry because it’s easier to blame you than admit she didn’t check.”
Several pointed out that workplace benefit details like vesting cliffs aren’t always top of mind—especially for younger professionals. And the data backs that up. A 2023 CNBC survey found that 46% of Americans with a 401(k) don’t even know what their money is invested in. Among adults aged 18 to 34, that number rises to 54%. In other words, more than half of young workers may be actively contributing to a benefit they don’t fully understand.
Experts have also noted that many workers assume 401(k) matches are theirs automatically. But vesting schedules—especially three- or five-year cliffs—are a common and often overlooked trap. According to Vanguard, nearly half of employers with 401(k) plans use some form of delayed vesting on matching contributions.
As for this situation, the original poster admitted it could’ve gone differently. But he still questioned whether the responsibility ever really belonged to him in the first place.
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This article She Lost $50K Quitting Right Before Her 401(k) Vested—Now Says Her Boss, Who’s Also Her Friend’s Husband, Should’ve Warned Her She’d Lose Out originally appeared on Benzinga.com
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