Should Giving Kids The ‘Best Childhood Memories’ Come Before Saving For Retirement? ‘They Can Borrow For School, You Can’t Borrow For Retirement’

A parent in their late 30s recently asked a question that hit a nerve with many middle-class families: Should you cut back on retirement savings so your kids can have the best childhood possible?
With two young children, they had reduced retirement contributions to just enough to get the employer match. The extra cash flow was going toward a second car, vacations, swim lessons and 529 college savings. “We are basically all in on our children having the best childhood memories as possible,” the parent wrote on Reddit’s r/MiddleClassFinance.
Retirement First Or Risk Becoming The Burden?
The overwhelming response from commenters was repeated again and again: “They can borrow for school, you can’t borrow for retirement.”
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Many pointed out that college has loans, grants and scholarships. Retirement does not.
“There are no scholarships for retirement,” one person wrote.
Another added, “People will be happy to loan your kids college money. No one is loaning you money to die comfortably.”
Several commenters shared painful personal experiences. One said their parents had no retirement savings and now rely on them for support. “I would happily trade vacations as a child that I barely remember for the peace of mind of knowing they will not want in old age,” they wrote.
As one commenter put it, “Your kids won’t understand it until they are older, but the best gift to give them is making sure they don’t have to financially provide for you in retirement and old age.”
Compound growth was another major theme. Cutting retirement contributions in your 30s can significantly reduce long-term gains. “Don’t short-circuit the compounding nature of investments over time,” one person warned. “You can’t easily make that up later.”
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What About College And Vacations?
Some parents shared strategies like encouraging community college, state schools or having kids contribute through part-time work and scholarships.
Vacations sparked more debate. A number of people said young children do not remember expensive trips. “Kids don’t care about better cars and vacations,” one commenter said. “We’ve spent thousands taking them to Europe (I was gonna for work, they tagged along) and they still remember more fondly the times we camped for 35 bucks a night.”
Camping, local parks, zoo memberships and simple family time were frequently mentioned as lower-cost alternatives. “Time spent with kids is the best gift,” one commenter wrote.
Still, a minority argued that life is short and experiences matter. Some parents in their 50s said they prioritized time and memories when their children were young and have no regrets, even if their retirement balances are smaller than they could have been.
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Finding Balance In A Middle-Class Reality
The original poster eventually acknowledged they were likely behind on retirement and said they would shift priorities. “Mistake acknowledged and new directions towards healthier retirement chosen,” they wrote.
The broader takeaway reflects a tough middle-class tradeoff: Kids, retirement and lifestyle often compete for the same dollars.
Ultimately, commenters returned to one simple principle: Put your own mask on first. Childhood is short, but retirement can last decades.
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