‘Some People Need To Be Loved From Further Distance,’ Dave Ramsey Says As Parents Struggle To Pay Rent
- Personal Finance
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- 6 minutes read
When family help quietly turns into a long-running strain, love and responsibility can collide in uncomfortable ways.
That was the crossroads Courtney reached when she told “The Ramsey Show” that the home meant to secure her family’s future had instead locked her into a painful standoff with her own parents.
Courtney, who built her life along California’s southern coast, told hosts Dave Ramsey and George Kamel that she and her husband followed a structured financial plan, paid off their debts, and nearly cleared the mortgage on the rental home. About $60,000 remains on the loan.
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The plan was for the home to support retirement and eventually help fund their children’s college costs. Instead, it became a source of constant stress.
Her parents, now 64 and 65, have lived in the house for 11 years. Rent is routinely late, often without communication. Courtney said she has sent reminders, raised the rent issue with them month after month, shared financial education resources, and even offered to bring them into her own home.
“I’m just — I need help, Dave. I don’t know what to do,” Courtney said.
When Help Stops Working
Ramsey focused on the length of the arrangement, making clear that the late payments and lack of communication were part of a long-established pattern. He told Courtney that expecting different results had kept the situation emotionally exhausting.
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He also acknowledged how difficult it can be to separate financial decisions from family loyalty when the original intent was to help.
Ramsey then laid out two paths forward, neither of which involved trying to change her parents’ financial habits. One option was acceptance: paying off the remaining balance and allowing them to stay without expecting rent.
Drawing The Line Without Guilt
The other option was to step out of the landlord role entirely. He advised selling the house, giving her parents a clear move-out date, and presenting the decision as advice from a financial adviser.
“If you stop the enabling, then it’ll also stop the resentment that’s been bubbling up in your life,” Kamel said.
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Ramsey added that allowing adults in their mid-60s to avoid responsibility only delays consequences they eventually have to face. He told Courtney she had already given years of support and effort, and that continuing indefinitely was not required to prove love.
“Some people need to be loved from further distance than others,” Ramsey said.
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