The balancing act of raising kids, paying off debt and still prioritizing your marriage is one that many Americans face without knowing how to manage it all.
A 27-year-old from Texas called into The Ramsey Show and explained that he’s a stay-at-home dad to two young children. (1) His wife earns about $60,000 a year, while he picks up food deliveries in the evenings. Together, they’re drowning in nearly $100,000 in debt — $60,000 in student loans, $27,000 on a car and the rest on credit cards.
With bills piling up and little family time, he wanted to know: is there a way to dig out of debt without sacrificing his role at home? It’s a question many young families can relate to, and Ramsey’s advice was blunt: balance will have to wait until the math makes sense.
Ramsey didn’t sugarcoat the answer, insisting that getting their finances in order has to happen before he can achieve the balance he desires: “You [get to] have life balance when you get your butt cleaned up because you made a mess. That’s when you have life balance.”
“You got a car you can’t afford, and you don’t drive a $27,000 car with a $60,000 income,” Ramsey told him, urging the family to sell the vehicle even if it means taking a loss.
The bigger issue? Income. Ramsey and co-host Dr. John Delony pressed the caller to pick up a full-time job in addition to his delivery shifts.
“Y’all aren’t going to be able to make it owing that kind of money and trying to get a home and raising two kids on 60K. It’s not a values question, dude. It’s a math problem.”
In short: get aggressive, increase income and knock out the debt, even if it means sacrificing family time for a season.
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Part of the caller’s challenge is the high cost of daycare. He estimated that it could cost $2,000 to $3,000 a month, which is about what he could make working fulltime.
He’s not wrong. The National Database of Childcare Prices says the median cost for child care for one child is between $6,552 and $15,600 per year, per child. (2) For families with two kids, the burden can easily rival a mortgage payment.
That financial strain has led many families to have one parent stay home. But Ramsey and Delony argued that this caller was limiting himself by assuming he could only make $2,000 to $3,000 a month: “I don’t believe it. You’re selling yourself way, way short.”
Ramsey and Deloney agreed that getting a full-time job was worth it even if most of that income would go toward child care.
For families wrestling with this decision, the key is to run the numbers. Here’s how to figure out if you can afford to have one parent stay home.
Compare take-home pay vs. childcare costs: Don’t just compare a gross salary to daycare bills. Factor in taxes, commuting costs, work lunches, and other expenses. Then see what’s left after paying for child care. If nearly nothing remains, staying home may make more sense.
Weigh the long-term benefits of working: Even if child care eats up almost all of one parent’s paycheck, holding a full-time job can still provide critical benefits like health insurance, retirement contributions, Social Security credits and career growth. Sometimes it’s worth working primarily for the benefits rather than the take-home pay.
Think in “seasons”: Some families choose to work hard and sacrifice for two to three years to pay off debt, then revisit the stay-at-home option once finances improve. Just because you can’t stay home now doesn’t mean you can ever ca.
Consider alternative childcare options: In-home daycare providers, nanny shares (where two families split the cost of one caregiver) and help from extended family can all reduce costs compared with traditional daycare centers.
For the Texas caller, Ramsey’s advice was clear: get a job, sell the car, and throw everything at the debt. Only once the numbers work will he be able to enjoy the balance he’s craving.
And that’s the takeaway for families everywhere: child care is expensive, staying home has trade-offs, and debt can make everything harder — but if you run the numbers honestly, you’ll know which path truly adds up.
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We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines. The Ramsey Show (1); Department of Labor (2)
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
