Tyler Perry is no stranger to bold decisions. He recently opened up about setting financial boundaries with family.
The actor, director and producer told the “Den of Kings” podcast in July that his aunt often asked him for money. Perry explained to host Kirk Franklin that he first sent her funds to help, but later offered her a job instead, hoping she would earn rather than depend on him.
When she failed to show up for work, Perry made a choice. “You want me to hand you the money, but you don’t want to work for us,” he said. “See, that doesn’t work for me.”
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Perry, who Forbes values at more than $1 billion, has built his career on discipline. That same discipline, he said, guides how he manages money with relatives.
A Thrivent survey released in April found that 46% of parents reported adult children returning home and 38% said the experience hurt their long-term savings, including retirement.
Meanwhile, a National Debt Relief survey published this month found that 59% of parents have gone into debt to support their children and among them, 81% said they prioritized family needs over paying off their own debt.
The findings highlight how many families prioritize children’s needs even at the cost of their own financial security. Perry, however, has drawn a line. As he put it, “I want to help you. I don’t want to help you build this thing, not be welfare to you.”
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Why Boundaries Are Essential
Assistant professor of marketing at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia Wendy De La Rosa told NPR last year that setting boundaries is key when money is at stake. “Ask yourself: Am I really in a position to be gifting money right now?” she said.
De La Rosa explained that if the request feels overwhelming, it is better to decline politely and explain why. If support is possible, giving money as a gift rather than a loan may reduce strain and preserve the relationship.
She also recommended documenting financial arrangements in writing to avoid misunderstandings. Written agreements, she explained, can help account for tax obligations.
The IRS requires individuals who give more than $19,000 per person annually to file a gift tax return, though most will not owe taxes because of lifetime exemptions.
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