When you first have kids, lots of well-meaning (or obnoxious) folks will tell you, “The days are long but the years are short.” What no one tells you is that this also applies to our parents.
As part of the sandwich generation raising young children while also seeing our parents age and all the ups and downs that accompany that, that adage now hits hard.
Both my dad and my husband’s parents are now in their 80s, while our youngest child is 6. When we were in the throes of new parenthood and trying to figure out how to juggle two full-time commuting jobs with day care, daily life, and everything in between, the thought of trying to plan a multigenerational vacation honestly probably never occurred to us.
Sure, there were the little weekend trips here and there, but as it became clear our parents were aging, we started wondering about those bucket list experiences they’d always wanted to do with their grandkids that everyone just kept putting off year after year because life is always too busy and time always goes way too fast.
We planned a multigenerational trip
We’d taken for granted that our parents were relatively healthy, mobile, and active. As someone who lost my mom at 29, I was always highly aware that life is short and we should take our opportunities while able. Even with that knowledge, the years flew by.
For my dad, the bucket list dream he’d always talked about was taking all of his kids and grandkids to South Korea, where he was born, and introducing us to the remaining aunts and uncles of his eight siblings that we’d never met, along with a particular request to rent traditional Korean clothes (hanboks) and wear them for family pictures.
He was already over 80, which seems to mean you just never know if there will be a bad fall or serious health issues at any given moment. Basically, the time to go was yesterday, so after chatting with my younger siblings, we got moving.
I’m grateful we made it happen
While planning a multigenerational trip that involves five adults with their own schedules and three young kids to another country is no small feat, we managed to make it happen — and I’m forever grateful we did.
One of the primary challenges was finding places to stay that allowed room for everyone and thanks to an amazing traditional Korean house, called a hanok, my brother found on AirBnB and another spacious multi-room condo Airbnb, we were able to be together but still have some space to spread out, which I would argue is essential with a trip with multiple family members. I’ll never forget meeting aunts and uncles for the first time and my kids will talk about all the things we did together with their grandfather and uncles and beg to go back.
While the trip was now over a year ago, but dad still raves about it. I made him a photo book to remember the trip and it wasn’t all the sightseeing we did or delicious food we ate he remembers, it was just the time spent together.
We did the same for my husband’s parents
Fast-forward a year later and we were able to make another parent’s dream trip with their grandchildren come true. My mother-in-law is a lifelong equestrian and had often brought up wanting to take a trail ride with the entire family at a ranch. At the time, many of the grandkids were too young to ride, but this past year seemed like the perfect time.
We headed off to the gorgeous Alisal Ranch in Santa Ynez for a memorable girls-only trip, from Grandma to the six-year-old. It was clearly a property meant for family reunions and multigenerational vacations. The cabin we stayed in had a clever Murphy bunk bed, couch bed, and spacious bedroom for Grandma to rest comfortably.
It was a slower pace of trip that appealed to both young and old. Sitting on the porch watching horses meandering around while the sunsets will always remain a highlight, as will the friendly goats in the barn the kids went back day after day to pet.
Eating each meal together and just hanging out is basically what any grandparent really wants, and we had that in spades. The trip culminated in a wonderful morning horse ride to a “cowboy breakfast” (the youngest and I went in a wagon instead).
The all-inclusive nature of the property made it a super easy no-fuss planning process and everyone got to do what they wanted, whether it was just running around the expansive lawn, making crafts in the kids’ art room, or playing ping-pong and roasting s’mores with Grandma.
If you’re like me and have been sitting around wondering when to make a special trip with the grandparents happen, the answer is now. None of us are getting any younger, and it’s such a precious window when everyone is healthy enough, the kids are willing and able, and you have the opportunity to make literal dreams come true.
There will never be a perfect time when work or extracurricular activities don’t have to get rearranged but trust me, it’s not something you’ll ever regret.
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