A Reddit user recently asked high earners a simple question: If you make $300,000 or more, do you expect your partner to earn the same and split expenses evenly? The thread exploded with hundreds of honest responses.
The Overwhelming Sentiment
Most high earners who responded said they don’t expect or even want a 50/50 financial split with their spouse. Instead, they view marriage as a shared life, not a financial contract.
“We are a team, there isn’t a ‘mine and yours,’ there is ‘ours’,” one person earning over $1.2 million per year wrote. “I buy and do what I want, she does the same.” Another added, “My money is hers and her money is mine. We make shared decisions on all major purchases.”
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Many emphasized that their partners supported them when they were broke or in school. “She’s been with me since we were 23 and getting our lights shut off because we couldn’t pay,” one commenter said. “Mine’s hers. Hers mine.”
Non-Financial Contributions Matter Too
A recurring theme was that income isn’t the only way to contribute to a household. Many said their spouses are either stay-at-home moms, manage the household or run a small business.
“I make about $650K a year. My wife runs a little online business that profits maybe around $40K a year,” one user shared. “She also helps take care of our kids. My money is hers and her money is mine.”
“I make north of $500K. My wife is a SAHM and enjoys spending my money (responsibly),” one of the more popular comments said. “She worked coffee shop jobs, Instacart, DoorDash, etc, to pay the bills when I was in grad school and we were broke. She deserves this income as much as I do.”
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Some added that their partner could work, but they prefer having someone at home to create balance. “I don’t care whether she works or saves money. I handle the heavy lifting so she and the kids can have a comfortable life,” one person wrote.
What About High-Earning Women?
A number of high-earning women also chimed in and said dating can be difficult. Many men felt insecure about being out-earned.
“My ex left me because I was making more than him. That was his insecurities,” one woman wrote. “My current husband loves [that] I’m a boss lady. He is so proud and supportive. That is the type of man we deserve.”
“I was making 200k more than him and I got called gold digger,” another said. “The projection was strong. There’s good men out there but most of them are intimidated by successful and high earning women.”
Still, others said it’s just easier to date someone who makes as much as they do. “I made over $400K this year and I just want to find a good man,” one commenter shared. “He doesn’t need to make as much as me, but having a provider mindset is important.”
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Split the Bills? Most Say No
While a few people use proportional splits based on income, almost everyone rejected the idea of a literal 50/50.
“If you’re married, nothing is 50/50,” one wrote. “Being in a relationship and expecting everything to be split 50/50 is basically a roommate you have sex with,” another added.
And as one person said, “I make half a million so that my wife is free to make nothing.”
Some mentioned that financial disagreements can happen when values aren’t aligned. But for the most part, commenters stressed the importance of shared goals and trust. “Money is the number one cause of divorce,” one wrote. “Being possessive vs. cooperative about funds is a resentment breeding ground.”
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