A growing number of young Americans want to retire early and spend their time enjoying life on their own terms. But early retirement isn’t all sunshine and cocktails—especially when you share your life with a partner.
In a December 2024 post, a Redditor, 41, shared the challenges he’s faced since retiring early despite having millions in assets. He said he retired with about $2 million in liquid assets and a $650,000 retirement account. He earns about $125,000 a year from his assets and collects another $75,000 annually in royalties from a business he sold.
And yet, his wife, a teacher, has been critical of how he spends his days. He said she called him a “loser” for playing video games and relaxing all day.
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“Wife came home early today, and I’m stoned in the middle of a conversation (with) my GTA online friends,” the Redditor wrote. “She told me I’m becoming a ‘loser.’ I just want to chill, but I can tell she doesn’t like it. Early retirement does not fit well in this society.”
‘I Just Want To Chill’
The Redditor said that during the winter months, he spends much of his time at home playing video games while his wife is at work. He admitted his routine is “immature,” but said there isn’t much else to do during the cold weather. He said he wants time to relax after working in what he described as a “stressful” job for 15 years.
He said he helps with cooking and cleaning, while his income from assets and royalties is about twice what his wife earns as a teacher. He asked fellow early retirees “what is the problem” if he wants to play video games and spend his time idling while his wife is at work.
“We take nice trips across the world in the summer when she’s off,” the Redditor said. “She said I’m too old for this but there’s not much else to do in the winter. I just want to chill, but I can tell she doesn’t like it. Early retirement does not fit well in this society.”
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Some commenters said the issue sounded less like early retirement and more like a relationship problem. “Drop any ego you could have and communicate with her,” one wrote. “Plan together and get on the same train. Obv taking some time to enjoy yourself is warranted, there seems to be a disconnect here.”
‘There Is So Much More To Life’
Others said relaxing and enjoying hobbies is fine, but doing so all day while a partner works can lead to frustration and dampen attraction between couples. They suggested sticking to a routine and finding balance through activities outside the home.
“I like gaming and watching shows as well… but I’m not sure I could do that 40h/wk and not consider myself a loser too?” one commenter said. “There is so much more to life. Work out, travel, go on walks, spend time with friends.”
Another user called it “worrying” that the original poster felt justified playing video games all day and doing little else because of the cold weather. “There is so much to do in life and his wife probably worries about him wasting himself, wasting his time and turning inwards,” they said.
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‘When Do You Truly Rest?’
One perspective sided with the poster, saying that society pushes people to keep working even after they retire, leaving little space to do what they actually enjoy. “It’s not socially acceptable to ‘play games’ when you retire, you will always have to work on something even if it’s not what you enjoy,” a comment read. “When do you truly rest and get to do what you want in this life? never according to society.”
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